


Come hither, I say | The Formidable Fingering Fanatics

by DrbWrite



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Best Friends, Gen, Platonic Sex, Sex Education, Silly, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:51:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrbWrite/pseuds/DrbWrite
Summary: Excerpt:“This is my way of coping, okay?” He explained, stroking her li- her labia majora. This was weird. “I’d like to think of it as a cat. Once you know what you’re dealing with you can proceed. Otherwise, it’ll take your eyes out.”





	

Dana glared at Yves where he knelt between her legs. His face was determined, if more than a bit confused.

“Lick it!” Commanded Dana, arms crossed to cover her breasts.

Yves glanced up at her, alarmed. “No. No, what, isn’t that unsanitary? Dana!”

On instinct, Dana went to close her legs, only to be impeded by Yves’ hands on her thighs. “It’s not dirty! Yves, come on. Do you expect me to suck your dick?”

The small male shook his head in the negative, still looking alarmed. “No. That’s…no. It’s my hand all the way.”

Groaning, Dana fell backwards on the bed with a soft _oomph_. “You’re no fun.”

“I told you I didn’t want to have sex with you, Dana. It’s not something that should be surprising.” Regardless of her antagonizing, he moved closer, bringing his eyes level with her vagina. “Okay, it looks like everything is there.”

“ _What the fuck?_ Yves, when was there ever any doubt?” She noticed that he was glancing intermittently between her genitals and his phone, which lay beside her hips on the bed. “Are you…are you referencing my vagina? Why can’t you just look at it and be done. This is not our senior thesis, man, come on.” With that said, she laid back, waiting.

With tentative fingers, Yves prodded at the lips of her vagina. “See, these are the labia majora.”

Dana froze. “Yves. It is a vagina. It is for sex, not study. This is really weird dude.” And to think she passed on marathoning _The Walking Dead_ for _this_.

“This is my way of coping, okay?” He explained, stroking her li- her labia majora. _This was weird._ “I’d like to think of it as a cat. Once you know what you’re dealing with you can proceed. Otherwise, it’ll take your eyes out.”

With great enthusiasm, Dana punched the mattress, hoping to get her point across. “It’s a pussy, yeah. A cunt. There, its binomial nomenclature is _Vaginus cuntus._ ”

A snort was Yves’ only response. His fingers tapped at her clit. “This button that’s hiding away is your glans of clitoris, isn’t it?”

“…yes, Yves.”

Defensive, he snatched his hand away, his eyes wide, “Look, this is my only chance of study,” he insisted, “I’m pretty sure Kevin isn’t going to grow a vagina.”

 _Of course._ “Why am I friends with you guys?”

“So you’ll have people to moan to for help with assignments. And also weed. But mostly, you love our dumb faces.”

...she couldn’t disagree. “…you’re right,” she relaxed and waved her hand in his direction, “carry on.”

This time, his finger just went straight for her vaginal opening. Only for him to be interrupted. Again.

“Woah, dude, stop,” Dana nudged his head away with her calf, “you’ve gotta warm up the engine first. Or at least- lube.” Her dark eyes glittered from where she laid.

Yves nodded, and sat back on his haunches, and brought his clean hand to tap at his lips in great contemplation.

This was getting out of hand. “Press my clit to start up the game,” she paused, “or, rather, rub it, though I prefer you rub the hood it’s in. Uh, that’s the prepuce. I’m sensitive. That’ll load up the…level. The terrain is normally supposed to be smooth and slick. No dry terrains for me. Once I’m wet, you can go to town.”

Crickets were chirping. Frogs were croaking.

Yves was choking on air. “Dana! Oh my god, what?” He was crying. He was actually crying tears of laughter.

Dana couldn’t help laughing either. “Ahaha, yeah, that was weird.” She reached forward to pat him on his head, “Get going now.”

Nodding, Yves started rubbing at her clit.

Dana frowned. “Okay. Try another angle. Start higher. This is just like a penis, okay? You just, you can’t see all of it. It’s mysterious. _Illusive_.”

Yves clapped a hand to his mouth. He froze. Slowly he moved his hand away from his face and stared at it in a distant sort of horror.

Dana cackled.

He clambered to his feet, and almost tripped over her hanging leg. “ _Fuck._ Dana!”

Resigned, Dana pulled her legs in towards her and sat up, watching her friend rush to wash his face, tripping every other step as he went. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” she called out to his retreating back.

“I will do this! I am resolved.”

* * *

 

Yves returned with a hangdog expression and a sopping wet face.

“Ready?” Dana asked from where she was reading one of the novels in the _A Song of Ice and Fire_ series. She calmly flipped a page and continued reading as she patiently awaited a response.

He nodded. “I will do this.”

Rolling her eyes, Dana put her book on her bedside table and scooted to the edge of the bed. “It’s right there. It won’t bite you, unlike a real pussy.”

Yves cracked a smile as he came to kneel between her legs once more. As he settled, he raised his hand to show the tube of lube in his hand. “I am prepared.”

Raising an eyebrow, Dana nodded, satisfied. “No rough rides here.”

Yves chest heaved with his efforts to stifle his laughter. There was a soft click, and from the edge of her sight, she could see him coating his hand with lube, smearing it between his fingers. “A bit cold, Dana,” he warned, eyes meeting hers briefly.

“A-okay, my man.”

She felt the questing finger as it prodded at her vaginal opening. Yves was making great effort to get everything wet. Which was… _good_ , she guessed. The tip of his finger slipped in, and- “wait.”

“What.”

“Get some fucking clippers for those claws, Yves.”

“…wow, what an oversight. _Sorry._ I did not realize.”

The young woman gazed at him incredulously. “I know you finger yourself, you little shit.”

Shrugging in submission, Yves stood and left the room. _Again_.

What the fuck. _What the fuck._

* * *

This was going well. Yves had three fingers in her vagina, and was crooking them. Then he was twisting them and spreading them and…she didn’t have to really focus so much on what he was doing…but, it was awkward.

Yves was confused. _That poor child._ “What am I doing wrong, Dana? I can’t find your G-spot.”

“I’ve never found it either,” Dana admitted, “I can’t ask of a man what I myself can’t even do.”

Yves’ mouth fell open in surprise. “Oh, wow. Well. I’ve never found my prostrate either.”

Now Dana was surprised. “Shut up _. No_. Why not?”

“Well, not for a lack of trying, Dana. I could ask you the same question, but I didn’t!” He complained. Frustrated, he got up, and moved to leave.

“So that’s it?” Dana questioned, upset. “You get a girl going then get going?”

Yves paused. “Dana. I am a gay man. I wanted information for reference;” he beseeched her, “this is obviously not working. And my fingers are cramping.”

Okay. So, fun and games were over. They were getting off tonight. “We _are_ getting off tonight. I am going to finger you. You are going to finger me. We are going to _come_.”

* * *

 

“What does Google say?”

“About an inch or two up, palm facing you, come hither.”

“…come hither.”

“Come hither with the crooked fingers, dude.”

“Okay- oh, _shit_. Oh, _Dana_ -”

“I’m on it, Yves. Yo-eehaw, I want to take a piss. Ah.”

“ _Endu-uu-ure.”_

“Ye-ah, that is _it. Oh my god. Yves. Ah, fuck, ah-”_

_“-oh, oh, uh, shit, uh-”_

* * *

 

Dana stared blankly up at the ceiling above her. Her sweat was drying and she smelt like jizz, but she truly felt like her life was complete. Turning her head to the left, she giggled as she caught sight of where Yves had passed out. His face was still flushed red, and his mouth was wide open, drool on his chin. Dana returned her sight to the ceiling. She could still feel her vagina twitching. She couldn’t resist a fist pump, before she turned onto her side and tried to get some sleep.

 _Sex Ed ftw_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so shocked I wrote this. So sexual. uwu
> 
> I'm a virgin, with a virgin BFF. She told me this to- I don't know why she told me about masturbation. Funnily enough, we've not achieved internal orgasms yet. Google really is my reference at this point.
> 
> But I'm determined. (・∀・)
> 
> \- D. Mist


End file.
